About Dr. Thaddeus T. Stone
Dr. Thaddeus T. Stone holds a Doctorate in Theoretical Histrionics from a university of his own creation, which the federal government has neither recognized nor successfully shut down. He is the author of A Stone’s Throw, a column known for its frequent citations of phrenology, alchemy, and advice imparted to him by squirrels he believes are reincarnated philosophers. He maintains a professional disagreement with the laws of physics and refers to Wikipedia only to argue with it.
When not publishing unsolicited opinions, Dr. Stone can be found beneath a ginkgo tree arguing with gravity or transcribing prophecy from a walnut shell.
Author of The Walnut Prophecy
In addition to his column, Dr. Stone is the sole surviving author of The Walnut Prophecy, a serialized epic of squirrel-led revelation, mythic fruit-shell cosmology, and metaphysical miscommunication. Blending ancient predictive linguistics with modern errata, the series follows a lineage of reluctant Chosen Ones as they fail, repeatedly, to fulfill a destiny written in an unstable scripting language known as walnut.js™. It is the first literary saga to be partially redacted by its own narrative.
The Walnut Prophecy has been described as “impossible to plagiarize” and “concerning” by former interns, and continues to gather a cult readership among those who have abandoned linear time.
Areas of Authority
-
Histrionic Logics
-
Prophetic Squirrel Council Proceedings
-
Narrative Entropy
“My qualifications are eternal. I simply revealed them late.”
– Dr. Thaddeus T. Stone
Recent Dispatches
-
Once, nestled between the Vinegar Dunes and the Forest of Loud Opinions, there was a lake who had filed seventeen formal complaints about her job description.
She didn’t want to be reflective. She didn’t care for lily pads. She certainly wasn’t interested in “supporting aquatic life with emotional maturity.”
No — Lorna Belle wanted one thing: to dance.
And one Tuesday, with the Moon watching and the paperwork smoldering in defiance, she did.
-
Dear faithful readers of The Walnut Prophecy,
After three chapters of Gerald’s adventures in cosmic bureaucracy, we’re making a strategic shift that will ultimately give you a much richer experience. -
Who’s Really on the Other End of That Call? By Dr. Thaddeus T. Stone I have examined the digital missive sent from Mr. Mike Huckabee to President Trump, which the …
- 1
- 2
Page last updated: June 30, 2025