Indefinitely Banned: Truth Social Revokes Our Right to Post About Truth
By Montgomery “Monty” Blackwood, with a tragic cameo by Skip “The Remote” Rowland*
To our readers, subscribers, anonymous tipsters, and the six interns manually feeding our servers: we regret to inform you that **The Post Meridiem Post has been banned from Truth Social.**
That’s right. Banned. Booted. Digitally excommunicated. And not for violence, harassment, or illegal meme trafficking—but, we believe, for *excessively accurate news*.
We are devastated. But also, let’s be honest, slightly flattered.
😢 Skip Rowland: “It Was My Spiritual Home”
Fox News Analyst Skip “The Remote” Rowland was found sobbing into an unplugged coaxial cable upon hearing the news.
> *“It was the only platform where I could praise a Tucker Carlson eyebrow raise and not be flagged for irony,”* he wept.
> *“I used to go there to feel safe. And now? Now it’s like my soul’s TiVo deleted itself.”*
Skip has refused to appear on camera until we’re reinstated or until *Fox & Friends* covers our unjust ban. Whichever comes first. It’s a good thing we can’t even afford a camera.
📩 The Official Ban Email
Truth Social sent us the following:
*Truth Social’s Letter of Excommunication: Our Sins Include “Moral Ambiguity” and Possibly That Satirical Guide to Building Your Own Moon-Based Voting Machine.*
🙏 Monty’s Plea to Lord of Truth
To the administrators of Truth Social, to the silent algorithms who judged us, and to the content moderation intern named Chad who likely clicked the “ban” button: we apologize.
We did not mean to imply that *Truth* had a sense of humor. We simply hoped it had a pulse.
Please reinstate our account so that Skip can live, our satire can breathe, and the American people can once again read critiques of JD Vance in the space JD Vance scrolls.
We promise to behave. Or at least to misbehave more quietly.
Yours in suspended solidarity,
Montgomery “Monty” Blackwood
Editor-in-Chief
The Post Meridiem Post
*Want to support our cause? Share this story before it, too, gets flagged for “vibes-based misinformation.”*
