By Monty Blackwood, Senior Editorialist, The Post Meridiem Post
The Genesis of a Shrug
The ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Party was born not in a think tank or war room, but in a group chat long muted and rarely checked. It sprang fully formed into Monty Blackwood’s brain during a livestream of Elon Musk announcing his ‘America Party’—a moment so egotistical it tore a hole in the national fabric just wide enough for a shrug to slip through.
“While others stormed the Capitol, bought NFTs, or founded third parties with venture capital, we simply shrugged. And now, we organize.”
The Platform (If You Can Call It That)
Unlike the legacy parties—funded by billionaires and beholden to alphabet-soup lobbies—the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯ Party is proud to stand alone, unsupported by AIPAC, Blackstone, or a single tech founder with a space fetish. Our platform is simple, unpolished, and completely free of compromise.
Healthcare:
We support Universal Maybecare™—healthcare that remains on the platform until a billionaire bribes us to remove it. Good luck, we don’t take donations. Unless you’re offering gold-plated Cheez-Its or the head of a hedge fund manager.
Student Debt:
We propose to forgive it. Entirely. If you’re wondering how we’ll pay for it—ask Raytheon. They seem to know where the money is.
Foreign Policy:
We believe in diplomacy guided by a firm ethical shrug. All international communiqués begin with: “Hey, no pressure but maybe don’t bomb that?”
Climate Change:
Yes. It’s real. We acknowledge it. That alone puts us ahead of Congress.
Campaign Finance Reform:
Our campaigns accept no Super PAC money, crypto, or billionaire art grants. If you want to contribute, submit a haiku of disillusionment or a drawing of a horse that looks a little off.
Endorsements So Far
Clippy (in exile)
Grok (AI model once trained on the truth, now reportedly muttering “¯_(ツ)_/¯” in binary between content warnings)
The ghost of Bipartisanship (seen weeping outside a Panera)
Your high school civics teacher (who’s now just a Reddit mod named “ConstitutionDad1776”)
Membership Perks
No dues.
No expectations.
You will receive a sticker. Maybe. If we remember.
Closing Statement:
Join the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Party. We’re not left. We’re not right. We’re not even sure we’re still technically a democracy.
But this could be real—like, legally real. We just need your help. Yes you, the one scanning this sentence between doomscrolls and existential dread. Keep a lookout for our soon-to-launch Shrug Party HQ. Volunteer. Share this manifesto with your group chat. Then return to contemplating your place in what is most definitely NOT the greatest country in the world: America.
#ShrugParty
#NotLeftNotRight
#TheSatireIndex
