A Tale of Two Assemblies: One Disordered, The Other Merely Damp
WASHINGTON D.C. – June 15, 2025 – Yesterday, the American public was presented with two competing visions of public assembly, and one must confess, neither was particularly up to standard. On the one hand, we had the President’s official birthday parade, a celebration of state power. On the other, a sprawling, nationwide series of gatherings operating under the rather dramatic moniker “No Kings Day.”
One has already remarked upon the lamentable aesthetics of the “No Kings Day” protests—the crude signage, the unsynchronized chanting, the general air of a poorly organized school sports day. And yet, one cannot deny the sheer volume of participants. By all accounts, these disordered, amateurish gatherings were vastly more popular than the official state-sanctioned event.
The President’s parade, for all its martial pomp and circumstance, was a rather dreary affair. Attendance appeared sparse, and the entire proceeding was plagued by a most unfortunate and uninvited celestial dampness. Rain, it seems, has little respect for executive authority. It created a soggy, dispirited tableau. The marching soldiers looked less like a conquering legion and more like men who wished they had brought a sensible poncho. The tanks, while impressive, left rather unsightly puddles in their wake.
And herein lies the truly smarting critique of our modern era.
We are faced with a choice between two forms of public spectacle. The first, the “No Kings Day” protest, is a chaotic, decentralized, and grammatically questionable expression of popular sentiment. It is messy, loud, and aesthetically jarring, yet it possesses a certain undeniable, vibrant energy and, crucially, a large audience.
The second, the President’s parade, represents the “official” version of patriotism. It is, in theory, orderly, dignified, and rooted in tradition. Yet, in practice, it was poorly attended, dampened by inclement weather, and ultimately, rather sad.
The great tragedy is not a political one, but an aesthetic one. It seems the American people have lost their taste for well-organized, if somewhat empty, pageantry. They have instead developed a palate for the raw, unrefined, and chaotic energy of mass complaint. It is a lamentable state of affairs when a misspelled sign held aloft by a shouting man in a strange hat is considered a more compelling spectacle than a procession of meticulously polished military hardware. One fears for the future of coordinated public events.
